fiver: thoughtful kitten! (thinking)
eastling ([personal profile] fiver) wrote2012-08-15 10:33 pm

with puzzled meows in the background.

I'm doing all right for some values of all right, but my attention span is an expanding cloud of glitter floating gently in the breeze. If things go well, that should improve soon, but right now I'm pretty useless for any task that requires sustained concentration. At all. I'd like it if that were to change.

Some time back I analyzed the various traits in fictional characters that can push me to fixate on and obsess over them. It was rather detailed, which is something of a shame as I've since come to the conclusion that I can express the factors involved quite simply: I fall into orbit around (typically male) characters composed of some combination of psychological facades and emotional sleight of hand; an alternately self-sacrificing and self-destructive nature; and the capacity for intense and passionate emotion, especially if the emotion in question is a driving anger. Of course this has evolved over the years (only the fascination with heroic sacrifice in fiction has been with me as long as I can remember), and I've attached myself to several characters who don't fit it very well in the past (usually as a result of the text playing up their charisma and larger-than-life nature, which is a sort of wildcard factor in this science). But I need to be able to root them in those three things--and ultimately also in an essential nature that is in conflict with itself, which tends to manifest as self-destructiveness of some kind.

I don't always know who's going to do this for me. The situation I'm in now--of entering a huge and complex text with virtual certainty about what character and pairing are going to light me up--is an aberration and has a lot to do with the fact that I felt the sparks six years ago when I flirted with the tepid anime adaptation. Anyway, I named my PSP Tohsaka, so I'm pretty secure in this.

I was going to talk about the three ideas I have so far for Madoka Magica fanfiction here (one short thing that's Mami-centric and kind of Mami/Madoka, and two vague ideas for lengthier stuff, both complicated what-if AUs, one Mami/Kyouko and one Kyouko/Sayaka), but at this point I might as well save that for another post. Stay tuned.