fiver: Moeblob goes yay! (positivity)

»»» 1. Decide you want me to write you a short piece of fanfiction.
»»» 2. Comment here with a fandom, character, or relationship (romantic or otherwise), as well as some kind of prompt: an image, some poetry or lyrics, a scenario...whatever you think would be most helpful.
»»» 3. I write you a short fanfiction by the end of the month.
»»» 4. My main fandoms right now are Type-Moon's Fate, Fire Emblem: Awakening, and Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I can also give Attack on Titan or maybe an older fandom a shot. Run it by me first if you're not sure.
fiver: Moeblob goes yay! (positivity)
Here are some things that have been going on with me, in no particular order of importance.

☀ I've been recovering from a really ugly episode of depression; hopefully, in the process, I've been gaining some tools and self-awareness to prevent things like it in the future.
☀ After six years of muttering about how much I liked this one character and pairing in it but could never get through the damn visual novel, I flung myself at Fate/stay night and became completely consumed by it. Also, I was wrong to think I would be utterly enamored of Archer and Rin/Archer. I'm actually completely and soul-crushingly obsessed with them. I've been thinking for six years that I'd love them and I wasn't prepared.
☀ This means that I'm back in fandom actively again, for the Fate franchise and for Puella Magi Madoka Magica. But I've also been gathering up some tools for not letting the toxic parts of fandom get to me. Which means not letting myself be shamed or guilted into fights over the social justice problems in my favorite series, even if that would be the right thing to do, because I can't handle it.
☀ I have a really good therapist.
☀ I have a lot of extensive fanfiction ideas.
☀ I also have some quite nice original fiction ideas, but they're on the backburner at the moment.
☀ I'm signed up for a program that will help me go to school at the local community college--hopefully starting in January. Said college has a couple of two-year video game design and development tracks. I want to try one of those. I know that it's a tough field to make a career in, but I think I have more chance of actually getting through such a program than I would if I tried to force myself through one I'm not interested in because "the degree is for something practical."
☀ I switched from drinking coffee to drinking tea. When you use loose leaves and have a proper infuser, tea is great.
fiver: rin and archer being OTP. (all these feelings)
It's been a long time and the original form of my fandom preferences post, despite (or perhaps because of) how often I added stuff onto it and tweaked it, is both unwieldy and out of date. So let's have a reset.

All these shiny fictional things I have ridiculous feelings about. )
fiver: thoughtful kitten! (thinking)
I'm doing all right for some values of all right, but my attention span is an expanding cloud of glitter floating gently in the breeze. If things go well, that should improve soon, but right now I'm pretty useless for any task that requires sustained concentration. At all. I'd like it if that were to change.

Some time back I analyzed the various traits in fictional characters that can push me to fixate on and obsess over them. It was rather detailed, which is something of a shame as I've since come to the conclusion that I can express the factors involved quite simply: I fall into orbit around (typically male) characters composed of some combination of psychological facades and emotional sleight of hand; an alternately self-sacrificing and self-destructive nature; and the capacity for intense and passionate emotion, especially if the emotion in question is a driving anger. Of course this has evolved over the years (only the fascination with heroic sacrifice in fiction has been with me as long as I can remember), and I've attached myself to several characters who don't fit it very well in the past (usually as a result of the text playing up their charisma and larger-than-life nature, which is a sort of wildcard factor in this science). But I need to be able to root them in those three things--and ultimately also in an essential nature that is in conflict with itself, which tends to manifest as self-destructiveness of some kind.

I don't always know who's going to do this for me. The situation I'm in now--of entering a huge and complex text with virtual certainty about what character and pairing are going to light me up--is an aberration and has a lot to do with the fact that I felt the sparks six years ago when I flirted with the tepid anime adaptation. Anyway, I named my PSP Tohsaka, so I'm pretty secure in this.

I was going to talk about the three ideas I have so far for Madoka Magica fanfiction here (one short thing that's Mami-centric and kind of Mami/Madoka, and two vague ideas for lengthier stuff, both complicated what-if AUs, one Mami/Kyouko and one Kyouko/Sayaka), but at this point I might as well save that for another post. Stay tuned.


fiver: the coolest OTP. (Default)

January 2016



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